Led to Forgive: Part 1 of 5 in the Series "Forgiveness"

Wind so intense it causes tall trees to bend to the ground, waves that rise and crash ferociously tossing and scattering mighty ships as though they were mere toys, flames that lick and lap in an entrancing dance, engulfing everything within its span, all symbols of rage; a rage that if left unchecked spreads rapidly and without control.  A rage that burns so deeply within, it slowly pulls you into its vortex, leaving you paralyzed never to regain your equilibrium again.

This is the rage I allowed to consume me from the inside out.  In September of 2009, I lost my youngest sister to a car accident.  While she was hit from behind and her vehicle was knocked off the road, the driver of the car that hit her was never charged with any crimes.  He was not even given a blood alcohol test to confirm his level of sobriety. 

It was beyond my comprehension, how someone could be allowed to take a life and severely injury two others, yet be free to live, love and laugh, without having to give any account for his actions.

Psalm 139:23-24 --- Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. 

This was my prayer for many, many months during the later part of 2009 and 2010.  Sure, I was able to go through my day and more times than not it would appear on the surface that everything was OK.  However, looks can be very deceiving. 

In the beginning I told myself I was just going through the normal cycle of grief, but slowly I began to realize that something was not so normal about what I was feeling.  Little things were beginning to annoy me, things that I would normally shrug of and not give a second thought to.  I also noticed that I was becoming very distant and withdrawn.  Finally, friends and family began to ask question like, “Are you OK?” “Is everything alright?”  “Would you like to talk about it?” 

It was then that I realized I needed to cry out to God and ask him to search my heart.  To plead with him to reveal to me any bitterness or anger that I was holding inside.  It was then that I held on to Psalm 46:10 and became still in the presence of God.  It was also during this time that I studied out true forgiveness. 

Over the next five weeks I will share with you the thoughts, feelings and struggles I encountered along the road to forgiveness.  I encourage you to join in the discussion.  

1. Have you ever experienced something so painful that you thought you could never move forward?
2. Have you overcome and forgiven?
3. How did you see God moving in your life during this time?

Everyone has a story; God has used all of us in some way.  Why not start today to begin to share yours.